Tears in Heaven
by ThnksFrThMmrs87
Summary: Life in the aftermath, hurting, and healing. Spoilers for the Winter Finale. Chapter 8 is hard T
1. Chapter 1

Note From The Author—Okay, so this was the first thing that occurred to me when I realized that we really and truly have no idea what could happen with Quinn when the show comes back in April. Unfortunately I tend to lean towards the angst ridden, so this is a story of what could be the aftermath if Quinn dies, and how the loss would impact the club. Being a die-hard Rachel and Puck fan, it also occurred to me that something so traumatic could have the potential to eventually bring the two of them together. I'm not positive yet where this will lead, but I want to see it through, wherever it goes.

Disclaimer—I do not own the characters of Glee or the song Tears In Heaven, from which the title comes

**Prologue**

Later she'll realize that the call must have come as she was walking down the aisle. One moment she was gazing happily at the man she was going to marry, and the next it was chaos. Of all the people in the room she had never expected Mr. Schue to be the one to answer in the negative to the question of objections, but there it was.

The world turned upside down in less than a minute as their teacher told them what had happened. Quinn was in an accident, the other driver had found her phone and called the last person to speak to the girl while he waited for the authorities. Will had answered the phone Rachel had haphazardly tossed at him moments before walking down the aisle in hopes that Quinn was trying to let them know she was there. God, he wished that had been the case.

Bouquets crashed to the floor as the entire McKinley family rushed from the room. People piled into cars and tires squealed as soon as the seatbelts clicked in, barely even realizing who they were with or what car they were in. In all honesty it was a miracle that they made it to the hospital without any more wrecks, and when they got there they were into the ER in what seemed like the snap of a finger.

They couldn't decide if fate was kind or cruel, because they saw Quinn as they wheeled her gurney towards what must have been an operating room; but what dominated their view was blood. Without a second thought Rachel took off running, catching her newfound friend's hand even as the paramedics tried to shove her away. The last thing she managed to say before the doors swung shut was that everything was going to be okay.

They waited for what seemed like days, but would later find out was barely an hour. Rachel refused to leave for even a second to clean off the blood, the doctors and nurses refused to tell them anything, and finally Sue went full on Coach Sylvester on them and they let her back to talk to a doctor. When she came back her face was grim.

In the end, nobody had to say anything; the look on her face and the tears in her eyes told them everything they needed to know. For a moment time seemed to stand still, and then Tina's broken sob seemed to echo through the room. Brittany and Santana clung to each other as Sugar and Rory clutched at each other's hands. Mike and Tina had all but collapsed into a chair, Kurt and Blaine caught Mercedes between them as she fell, and Artie couldn't seem to do anything but cry. Rachel looked to Finn, but he let go of her hand and walked to his mother, refusing to meet his fiance's eyes. Emotions swam through her as she watched him go, but then she heard a whispered 'no' and she remembered who had been standing on her other side.

Puck had slid down the wall, his legs collapsing under the weight of everything that had gone so wrong. That one word kept passing his lips as he shook his head over and over again; no, no, no. Then the word changed, and there was a glimpse of the little lost boy she had met at Temple years before when his eyes met hers and he said his daughter's name. Then it really hit her.

Quinn was gone.

She would never get to see Beth grow up, and her little girl would never see how her mother turned her life around to become a strong, amazing person. She would never go to Yale or get married or have more children. This was it.

Her knees going weak, Rachel dropped next to Noah, her hand groping for his through the blindness brought on by her tears.

They sat motionless and wept; the Glee Club and their family members, the pregnant Cheerios Coach, the man who had just lost the first girl he had ever loved and the mother of his child.

And the bride in her bloodstained wedding dress.


	2. Chapter 2

Note From The Author—Thank you so much for the overwhelming response to this story. Just as a heads up, the chapters in this story will be quite short, keeping with the tradition of the first chapter and the tone I'm trying to create.

With her breath heaving and her chest aching, Rachel Berry shot upright in her bed. It was the eighth night in a row that she had woken up violently, a perfectly macabre counterpoint to the horrifying events replaying in the nightmare. Eight days since Quinn's death; eight days since blissful elation had burned up into pain and crushing despair.

In those eight days she had barely left her room. She ate only when her body could no longer take it, got up from her bed for the same reasons. On the second day her fathers had been forced to call Mercedes over to talk her into changing out of her bloodied wedding dress. They had succeeded in that at least, but hadn't been able to get another word out of her. All of the calls from her friends and her fathers' pleadings fell on deaf ears. There was nothing that could draw her from her thoughts. But on that eighth Rachel realized with a sickening dread that she would have to get up, get ready and leave that day. Many things could keep her there, but she wouldn't miss Quinn's funeral.

A crushing dread settled over her as she rose from her bed. Mechanically, she went about the familiar business of showering, drying and styling her hair, applying her tasteful makeup, and getting dressed. The marked difference in the process being the fact that the dress she smoothed over her body was a subdued black rather than her usual colors and animals.

With a shaking hand Rachel picked up her phone and paged through the missed calls and text messages that had been bombarding her in the past days. Her heart sank when she realized that the one name she had been longing to see still wasn't there. Finn had still made no attempt to contact her.

Her father's knock at the door brought her swiftly back to reality, and with that same trembling hand she set her phone back down. Anyone she wanted or needed to see would be at the funeral. She could only hope that Finn would be willing to speak to her there.

When the Berry clan arrived at the church it was already packed. The minute she stepped from the car she spotted Kurt, who dropped Blaine's hand to run and embrace her. The feeling of his arms around her was something she hadn't realized she had needed, but a hug from her best friend actually helped. When they pulled apart the joined hands, and after Blaine came to take his place at Kurt's other side, the three of them took an almost simultaneous deep breath and walked into the church.

It seemed like half of Lima was there, including all of the Glee Club, the Football team and the Cheerios. The Warblers turned out in full blazered glory, even some of their other rival show choir members came. Quinn's family huddled together in the front pews while New Directions took their places behind them.

Rachel took a seat near the aisle, her and Blaine almost reflexively putting Kurt between them. If anyone noticed that Finn chose to sit in the space the furthest away from her, they were kind enough not to mention it; but she knew. Nothing could erase the fact that her fiancé seemed to be deliberately avoiding her. Even so there would be no point in trying to speak to him now; not here.

The atmosphere was understandably subdued, and as she took it all in Rachel realized that there was one person she didn't see. Noah Puckerman was noticeably absent. Turning in her seat she went to look for him, and saw her mother.

Her eyes briefly met her fathers' and they both offered quiet smiles. There wasn't a lot of time to make a decision, and her head spun as she wondered what she should do. Almost before she knew it she was on her feet, headed for the door where Shelby was standing. She was almost there when she finally saw Noah. He was standing on the threshold just behind Shelby with Beth in his arms, holding his little girl as she cried. He whispered something to her and pressed a kiss to her forehead before passing her to Shelby who kissed her and passed her off to her babysitter.

As Beth's sitter left the church Shelby finally turned and saw Rachel. She moved quickly to her daughter and embraced her fiercely, and Rachel forced back tears as she clung to the only mother she had ever known for that one brief moment. Their eyes met briefly as they pulled apart, and just as soon as it began the moment was over and Shelby was headed down the aisle.

Rachel felt oddly empty as she turned, but when she saw that Noah was still just staring out the door it fled her mind. Here was something she could potentially do to help, and Lord knew she needed some way to help.

Reaching out, she touched his shoulder gently. "Noah?"

He turned slowly, as if every movement caused him pain; and maybe it did. "We didn't want Beth here for the funeral," he said quietly. "I think she's too little to understand but if she does I…. I didn't want her last memory of her mother…." His voice cracked and he wiped furiously at the tears in his eyes.

"Oh Noah…" Without hesitation she reached up and wrapped him in her arms. It took a moment, but soon he was holding on to her like a life line and she felt his hand fist at her back. It was amazing how something could feel so familiar and so strange all at the same time. Sometimes she actually forgot how much time she and Puck had spent like this over the years, with her cheek pressed against his shoulder and his face buried against her neck.

Organ music started playing and he pulled back, wiping more tears away. "I don't know what to do," he whispered.

"None of us do. I'm sure things are weird between you and Shelby still; do you want to come sit with us?" she asked hesitantly.

It took a moment but he finally offered a silent nod, and she reached out to take his hand. Together, they made their way back to where the Glee kids were seated, their hands linked still as they sat.

The music came to its haunting crescendo, and when the pallbearers started in the tears Rachel had been holding back all day came pouring down. Her hand clutched desperately at Noah's and he squeezed right back. Then the coffin passed them and his tears turned into full on sobs; his usually strong body shaking with the effort to stay quiet. Kurt reached over to take his other hand, and he held fast to both of his friends. Her heart breaking for all of them, all Rachel could manage to do was lean into Noah and hope that they would make it through.


	3. Chapter 3

The funeral itself was a bit of a blur. There were hymns Rachel didn't recognize, readings from the priest and a poem from Quinn's sister. Mrs. Fabray tried to speak about her daughter but only managed to get about two words out before she crumpled into her ex-husband's arms. By the time the service was over they were all a wreck and they knew it would only get worse as they were headed next for the cemetery.

The Glee kids and the Schue Pillsbury duo decided to carpool as a part of the funeral procession, figuring they could all use each other's support and presence for the event to come. Rachel and Noah climbed into Kurt's SUV with him, Blaine and Mercedes; and Rachel tried to hide a pained look as Finn once again chose to be as far away from her as possible. Putting on what she hoped was a brave face; she slid in between Puck and Mercedes with a sigh.

Puck had noticed the distance between McKinley's golden couple; hell, everyone had. Rachel had looked like someone had stabbed her in the heart when Finn had picked Mike to ride with, and the pair of them hadn't been within five feet of each other all day. It may not have been the time to bring it up, but he was curious and he would have done just about anything to try and forget that their car was slowly crawling towards Lima Cemetery.

"What's up with you and Finn?"

Those huge brown eyes of hers caught his for a moment before looking back down at her hands twisting nervously in her lap. "He won't talk to me," she whispered. "He hasn't since the day of the accident."

Suddenly all eyes in the car were on her, even Kurt's via the car's mirror. "He's really hurting right now. I'm sure he'll come around."

She shrugged sadly. "I wish I could be so sure."

"Please, everything you and him have been together?" Mercedes chimed in as she patted her friend's leg reassuringly. "You'll be fine."

But the more Puck thought about it the less he was sure he agreed.

The crowd at the cemetery was almost as large as that at the church. It seemed that only a select few had skipped out. Though it hardly seemed possible the mood was even more subdued here, and all of the teens were quiet as they vacated Kurt's car to make their way to the graveside where the coffin already stood, surrounded by flowers and several of the pictures of Quinn that had been scattered around the church entryway.

As they had always been the pictures were all beautiful, featuring Quinn both smiling and serious. Rachel's heart caught momentarily in her throat as she realized that the photo closest to the coffin was a candid shot from just after they had won Regionals, with Quinn laughing in the black dress that had been one of the last things she had ever worn. Noah saw it just after her, and his hand clutched at hers once again.

"Any port in a storm?" Santana questioned cattily as she noted their joined hands.

"Just quit it," Puck told her sadly. "Please don't pull that shit today."

The pretty Latina's face fell as she nodded, and Rachel was surprised to note tears in her eyes when she next spoke. "I'm sorry, I get that we all need comfort right now. I guess my default setting is bitch." She swiped at the tears, hating that she was showing so much weakness.

Hoping she wouldn't get smacked for it, Rachel reached out and pulled the other girl into her arms. Santana did stiffen for a moment, but then she patted Rachel's back, if a bit awkwardly. Before they pulled apart she whispered into her teammate's ear. "It's okay to be bitchy, and it's more than okay to cry."

They separated and Santana nodded before taking her girlfriend's hand to find a place to stand next to Mike and Tina. Rachel and Puck followed them over along with the rest of the group, and they all stood silently as they waited for the priest to begin speaking.

It wasn't long before they got back underway, but the words of the priest barely managed to penetrate Rachel's consciousness. All she could think about was how much they were all going to miss, how she and Quinn had just barely started to become friends, everything and anything. Then they prepared to lower the casket into the ground, and suddenly it was as if the world began to close in on her. In her mind she could picture Quinn laying peacefully as if sleeping, then dirt started falling on to the serene face and still body and Rachel found herself struggling for breath, her eyes filling with tears and her body burning with the effort of every small action.

"Rachel? Rachel?"

A voice managed to penetrate the haze of her terror and she looked up into concerned hazel eyes. "Noah, they're going to put her in the ground. She's going to be in the ground and I can't… I can't…. I can't breathe."

As everything started to go fuzzy around the edges she heard familiar voices whispering about a panic attack and strong hands on her waist and back, leading her away from the grave with what she assumed was as little disturbance as possible. She was in a daze as Noah guided her gently, and soon she was sitting on something. Gentle hands were resting on her legs and that deep voice she knew so well was encouraging her to take deep breaths.

It took monumental effort, but soon the black at the edges of her vision began to retreat, and she soon realized that they were on the other side of all of the cars where nobody could see them. She was seated on a cracked old tombstone and Noah was kneeling in front of her.

He must have seen the awareness come back to her eyes because he mustered up a shaky smile. "Hey, there you are. Okay, keep breathing, big deep breaths okay."

Rachel nodded, and with his thumbs running in soothing circles over her dress and his eyes firm on hers, she finally managed to calm enough to speak. "Noah I'm so sorry."

Puck opened his mouth to respond, but he didn't get the chance as the angry voice of Finn Hudson rang through the air.

"What the hell are you two doing?"


	4. Chapter 4

Puck didn't rise from his position on the ground, though his hands did tense where they lay against Rachel's dress. When he spoke he looked directly at Finn, and his voice held an almost deadly edge. "Keep your voice down or you'll upset Quinn's family even more."

Finn looked down incredulously. "Because the two of you bailing didn't upset anyone? Could you be a bit more respectful Puck?"

He was on his feet in a blur of speed and shoving the taller boy back several steps. "What the fuck Finn? She had a goddamned panic attack! What I want to know is why her fiancé wasn't there to take care of her."

The last caused a heavy silence to hang between them and Finn's gaze dropped to his shoes.

Rachel stepped between the two boys, and for a moment all she could manage to do was look at each of them in turn as their breath heaved in their chests from barely concealed and mutual animosity. Then her eyes landed firmly on her boyfriend and she spoke to him quietly. "Finn." His eyes still avoided hers, until she let some of the hurt seep through her carefully constructed barriers and into her voice. "Finn, please look at me," she choked out. Brown eyes still swimming with tears finally turned to her face. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

"I don't want to do this here."

The mumbled reply was far from sufficient for Puck, and the boy who'd always had a hard time keeping his mouth shut snapped. "Just answer the damn question Hudson."

Rachel shot him a brief reproachful look. "I find myself in agreement with Noah. Please just talk to me." Her pleading voice began to shake. "You're supposed to be my fiance, Finn. We're supposed to be able to make it through anything, and you haven't spoken to me since we left the hospital that day. Did I do something…?"

"This is our fault!" His voice seemed too loud in the quiet that had engulfed them before the outburst.

Both Rachel and Puck were struck completely silent as they goggled at Finn. Finally, Puck stepped past the tiny Diva and focused solely on his possibly unhinged best friend. "Why the hell would you think this is your and Berry's fault?"

Finn brushed a frustrated hand through his hair as he searched for the words. He glanced furtively at his girlfriend before turning towards the cars formerly at his back. "She died on the way to our wedding that wasn't even supposed to be happening that day. She was hurrying because she wanted to be there for us and because we were telling her to get there faster. She died in that car because of us!"

An eerie silence fell again, but it wasn't long before Rachel's whisper broke through. "You mean it's my fault."

"Rachel it's not…"

She cut Puck off with the mere raise of her hand as she stepped up behind Finn. "No, I'm not stupid. I'm the one who wanted to move up the wedding. I'm the one who was texting her and telling her to hurry. Me," she said firmly. A tensing of the shoulders was the only reaction she got, and that was when she full on lost it. "Her small hand lashed out to punch him in the shoulder. "Don't you dare ignore me, Finn Hudson!"

He whirled around so fast that she was forced to take a stumbling step back. As it was, Noah's hand on her waist was the only thing that kept her from landing on the hard ground. She had barely corrected her balance when he started in on her.

"Yeah, you were the one! You were texting her while she was driving!" he yelled. "You were telling her to hurry! That's why your number was the last one on her phone; why you're the one they called. That's why she's dead!"

"You think I don't know that?" Her voice was hoarse as she stepped toward him again to stare into his face. "Do you honestly think I'm not living in agony right now? You lost the first girl you ever loved, the Fabrays lost a daughter." A crack in her voice forced her to stop for a moment, her eyes momentarily squeezing shut. "Beth lost a mother and we all lost a friend because she was speeding towards my impromptu wedding!"

"If it hadn't…"

Puck cut him off with a firm hand to the chest. "You got to talk. Now shut it before I have to do it for you." He stepped back to range himself next to Rachel. "Say what you need to say."

"Thank you. If you think I'm not living with the weight of all this then you have lost your mind. Her blood is all over my wedding dress. I will live for the rest of my life with the knowledge that that beautiful, intelligent girl with her whole life ahead of her died wearing my bridesmaids' dress on the way to my ridiculous fucking wedding! If you think that doesn't impact me then you really don't know me at all."

"Maybe I don't know you as well as I thought," he told her, looking as if he was teetering on the edge of despair. "Maybe we don't know nearly as much about each other as we felt we did."

In that moment she swore she could hear her heart cracking as it broke apart. Feeling as if everything was falling in around her, she reached down to pull the ring from her left hand. For a second she closed her hand around it, then she opened her eyes and held it out to him.

Finn shook his head. "You keep it, I don't want it."

And that was it. He turned around and disappeared between the throng of cars.

She dimly heard Kurt's voice asking what was going on with his brother; heard Noah asking her if she was okay. But all she could seem to process was the finality of it all. Quinn was dead, and so were her and Finn.

A ragged sob tore unbidden from her throat as the ring fell from her limp hand. The last thing she would remember from that day would be Kurt and Puck's arms around her as she fell to her knees.


	5. Chapter 5

Noah Puckerman fell back on his bed with a heavy sigh. It had been close to a week since Rachel had passed out at the funeral, and since then the tables and turned, and now he was the one being ignored. Rachel refused to speak to anyone, wouldn't answer texts, and her fathers regretfully turned away each and every friend who showed up to try and speak to her; and she hadn't come back to school.

Finn wouldn't talk about what had happened between them and the few of them who had dared to try to make the furious teen see reason about Quinn's accident had been brutally shut down. Most recently, Puck had taken a punch to the jaw for his efforts. The frozen peas that his mother had pressed to his face were doing nothing to dull the throbbing ache of the forming bruise, and he found his mood darkening even further. But the ache of his jaw paled in comparison to the one in his heart.

He had held himself together since the funeral; he had cried his tears that day. Since then the majority of his time had been spent focusing on his visits with Beth and trying to get through to Rachel. The former was going as well as could be expected, and the latter was just crap. With another sigh, Puck dropped the peas on his bed and sat up to pull out his phone.

He knew the call would go straight to voicemail as soon as he dialed, but it was his last ditch effort. Rachel's message was light and sunny, and a stark contrast to everything that was going on. When he heard the tone, Noah began to speak.

"Berry, this is like the tenth message I've left you in the past week. I don't even want to think about what it adds up to when you add in the rest of our friends." He paused, running a hand roughly over his mohawk. "Look, I'm not going to try and convince you that what happened to Quinn wasn't your fault. I know it wasn't, but you're gonna have to get to that one on your own. Look, Mr. Schue thought that all of us were bottling things up and suppressing our feelings or some shit so tomorrow he's making us all do a performance that has something to do with what we're feeling. You don't have to sing, you don't even have to talk to anyone if you don't want to, but I think you should come. I'll be there with my guitar, and I'm kind of hoping you'll be there too."

Only a few miles away and a few minutes later, Rachel played Noah's message on speaker. She had indeed been avoiding him like the plague since he had carried her into her house and laid her on the couch. He had been forced to leave by a call from his mother before Rachel had woken up, and she hadn't spoken another word to him.

Rachel didn't know if it was embarrassment, guilt or grief that was causing her to behave the way she was behaving. All she knew was that she hurt so bad that it seemed unbearable to do anything other than lay in her bed and cry.

As the last of Noah's words sounded , Leroy Berry poked his head into the room. "I think you should go."

"I know I should," she said quietly, setting the phone down on her bedside table. She shook her head. "I know I should be going to school and working on my audition piece for NYADA, and living my life. But how am I supposed to live my life knowing Quinn didn't get to live hers?"

"Oh baby." Her dad's hurried footsteps echoed around her as he rushed to sit by her side. "Baby, you can't just stop everything because of Quinn's death. Do you honestly think that even in the worst moments between the two of you she would have wanted you to spend the rest of your life this way?"

She leaned into her father's embrace, tears falling fast. "I know, I know it all, but she would be here if it wasn't for me. How am I supposed to go on knowing that?"

"You listen to me Rachel Berry," her father told her firmly as he tipped her chin up to look her in the eye. "What happened was not your fault. Noah is right, you're going to have to come to that knowledge on your own, but your father and everyone else will keep on telling you because we know without a doubt that it's true. What we will not do is let you continue down the path you're on. So in the morning you will get up, you will get dressed, and you'll go to glee club." Leroy dropped a kiss to her forehead before standing . "You're going to get through this."

Rachel offered her father a weak smile as he made his exit. "Okay," she whispered, staring over at her phone. "Okay."

The next day was tense for New Directions. Everyone was anticipating their performances later, and everyone was apprehensive, not knowing what would come out of it. The emotions which had the potential to explode were putting them all on edge. Then there was the worry that had been added by the knowledge that Puck had tried to convince Rachel to show up to be in the same room as her ex-fiance for the first time since everything had blown up between them.

For his own part, Puck felt off balance. The world had gone pear shaped since Quinn's death, and nothing about anything in his world felt quite right. Unable to focus on his classes, he found himself dodging teachers and finally taking refuge in the choir room.

He felt amped up and freaked out, so he took a seat on the stool Mr. Schue had set up in the middle of the room, picked up his guitar and started to strum. He didn't even realize that he had began playing the notes of his song for later until he started singing; but once he had started it seemed impossible to stop.

Would you know my name  
>If I saw you in heaven?<br>Would you feel the same  
>If I saw you in heaven?<br>I must be strong and carry on  
>'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven<p>

Would you hold my hand  
>If I saw you in heaven?<br>Would you help me stand  
>If I saw you in heaven?<br>I'll find my way through night and day  
>'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven<p>

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees  
>Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please<p>

Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure  
>And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven<p>

Would you know my name  
>If I saw you in heaven?<br>Would you feel the same  
>If I saw you in heaven?<br>I must be strong and carry on  
>Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven<p>

Puck came back to himself as he quietly strummed the last notes, reluctant to return to the world around him after losing himself in the music.

"That was beautiful, Noah."

He knew it was her. After all, nobody else but his nanna and mother got away with calling him Noah. Still, he had to see her for himself. So he slung his guitar around to his back and pivoted on his stool to see her. "You came."

Rachel nodded. "You're very convincing, and it was time. I've been neglecting my school work and my plans for NYADA. I have to get my voice back in top shape if I want to do well with my audition."

It didn't escape Puck's notice that she was telling him all this while steadfastly staring at her mary janes and fiddling nervously with the hem of her skirt. "Uh huh."

"I thought I would see you in class but Mike said you hadn't shown up to any of the ones you had with him either but Kurt said he saw you this morning and so I figured you must be in here. I just wanted to thank you for helping to convince me to come back even…" Her voice caught suddenly. "Even if it's so hard."

"Berry, you're babbling."

Finally, Rachel looked up at him with tears swimming in her eyes. "I am aren't I? I just don't know what to do with myself." Though her eyes stayed on his, her hands returned to their nervous fluttering. "I saw Finn in the hall and I ran into the bathroom because I just… I just couldn't."

"Hey." Noah broke in. Her eyes were full of tears, and now he was the one who didn't know what to do with himself. He knew there wasn't anything he could say to make it easier for her, so he did what he knew had worked in the past; he decided he would shut the hell up and go for the physical. "Come here."

Rachel crossed to him slowly, her movements unsure. Then she reached him and the pull of simple comfort and familiarity alleviated her worries. As she had done before, she slid into his lap and let him pull her into his arms. Noah tucked her against her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her without hesitation. It wasn't until she was in his arms that he realized he had needed the comfort as much as she had.

Note From the Author—I do not own the song Tears in Heaven; it's the work of the amazing Eric Clapton. Also, something felt off about this chapter the whole time I was writing it, and I don't know why. So if it sucks I sincerely apologize.


	6. Chapter 6

Note from the Author—Okay, so I'm guessing most of you thought I had abandoned this story; and truthfully, I wasn't sure if I was going to finish it. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that I loved it too much to let it just fade out. So I'm going to finish this story through to the end with the warning that this is now officially completely AU

Rachel allowed herself the comfort of Noah's arms for as long as she could. Then the bell rang and the spell was broken, so she regretfully rose from his lap. Everything was hard enough without the rest of the Glee Club potentially busting in on them during a personal moment. So she smoothed her skirt down and glanced over at him, ready to thank him for helping her feel a tiny bit better. It wasn't until then that she noticed the new bruise darkening his jaw line.

"Noah! What on earth happened?"

He tried to brush her away gently, but small insistent hands were fluttering over his face. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it." Then her fingers found a sensitive spot and he couldn't stop the hiss of pain that belied his words.

"This isn't nothing!" She followed doggedly behind him as he made his way across the room to set his guitar down by his chair. "Noah what really happened?"

Puck turned around to drop his hands to her shoulders and looked straight into her eyes. "Let it go Rachel."

"I will not let it go until you tell me how on earth this happened! Clearly someone hit you."

"Shit." He sank into the closest chair, scrubbing his hands over his face. "I tried to convince Finn to talk to you and he punched me in the face. Happy now?" Her sharp intake of breath was all he heard. When he looked up to see tears shining in her eyes and panic started to rise. "Shit babe don't cry, I'm really fine."

Rachel shook her head as she lowered herself into the chair next to him. "Noah, I appreciate you trying to help but I really don't think Finn is going to forgive me or even speak to me any time in the near future. Please, for both of our sakes don't bring it up again."

Those huge teary brown eyes were pleading him, and much as he hated to admit it she was right. "Fine," he told her, folding his arms. "But don't expect me to just sit here if he gets all douchey with you."

"Okay," she responded quietly. Leaning up, she brushed a gentle kiss against the bruise coloring his face." "You make quite a knight in armor you know?"

Puck all but snorted. "Yeah well my armor ain't so shiny."

"That just means you use it more frequently than the rest." She nudged him with her shoulder. "But I'll keep that quiet for the sake of your 'badassness'.

Her air quotes made him laugh and she found that it was entirely contagious. So by the time Mr. Schue got there they were bordering on hysterics. Honestly their teacher was just happy to hear them laugh.

By the time the others started to arrive Rachel and Puck were settled next to each other in companionable silence. As their friends started to file in they offered Rachel smiles and hugs and kind words. It seemed there were a lot of people who were happy to see her back at school in one piece. For a moment she felt buoyed by the support. And then Finn walked in.

The former couple's eyes caught for a bare moment, then he tore his gaze away and went to sit at the back of the room as far from Rachel as he could get. But what was perhaps more shocking was who made a blatant move in support of her. For the first time in memory Santana willingly took the seat next to Rachel Berry.

"What?" she questioned sharply as the entire room goggled at her in stunned silence. "Finn's being a tool, I'm on Berry's side. Get over it!"

As the cheerleader turned around with her dark ponytail swinging Finn made a move to speak, but Schue cut him off with a raised hand. "That's enough! We all know that isn't what today is about."

Silence fell again, heavy with grief then. For a moment they had forgotten, and now nobody knew where to go or what to do. But finally the quiet was broken as Kurt spoke.

"I'd like to go first if that's okay."

So Kurt started them off with a version of "Candle in the Wind" that had them all in tears. Not shockingly, the entire exercise had come to be completely emotionally exhausting. Thankfully, Mr. Schue shut the doors and covered their windows, creating a safe and private place for them to express their grief.

The performances went on with a heart wrenching performance of "Time of Your Life" by Blaine and Mike and Tina and Brittany singing "To Where You Are." Everyone loved Noah's performance of "Tears in Heaven" as much as Rachel had, and Santana gave them a surprisingly haunting rendition of "In the Arms of the Angel."

Finn opted to go last, singing "Hear You Me." As he stood in the front of the room he avoided Rachel's gaze. And as 'may angels lead you in' floated through the room in the baritone which had once given her such comfort, Rachel felt her heart cracking even more. Those final heartbreaking notes were like the last nail in the coffin of what had once been a beautiful relationship. It was no surprise to her when Noah's hand came to rest on her leg, his thumb rubbing soothing circles against her skin. It did surprise her when Santana reached out to take her hand without a word. It wasn't until that moment, with two people she had never expected anchoring her, that she realized that she truly didn't have to be alone.


	7. Chapter 7

Getting back into the rhythm of school was actually easier than Rachel thought it would have been. Even the cruelest of her former tormenters were leaving the bereaved Glee club alone in the aftermath of Quinn's death. That combined with the fact that she was back to spending a lot of time with Noah meant that people were steering clear.

What proved sadly harder was getting back into her singing. For someone who had been singing virtually every day of her life for seventeen years, going more than a week in musical silence had left her more than a little rusty. So Rachel was babying her voice, but its strength was coming back more and more every day.

What was potentially the strangest about her new routine and new life was how much time she was spending with Brittany and Santana. She and Kurt rarely saw each other now unless they were working together on their NYADA auditions. It was just too hard for both of them with Finn. The result of this left Rachel and Noah spending a ton of time with people firmly on their side of things, and that meant the cheerios and girlfriends more often than not. The other Glee club members were doing their best to stay neutral, but Santana was vehemently in support of Rachel and Britt didn't like that Finn was 'being so mean.'

So many afternoons in the weeks following Rachel's return to McKinley were spent sitting in someone's bedroom or basement with Rachel, Puck and Santana kibitzing and Brittany waxing poetic about Lord Tubbington. Either that or they sat and pretended to listen to Rachel freak out over her choice of song, and talk about her song, and worry about her song until one of them got sick of it and forced her to stop. Granted that usually came in the form of something like a pillow flying at her head, but it was effective and usually made her laugh after a moment's indignation.

One day about three weeks after her return the four of them were lounging in Puck's basement on a Friday afternoon. Rachel worked on homework while Santana and Noah played some ridiculously violent video game and Britt regaled them with the story of Lord Tubbington's date with the neighbor's tabby. Suddenly, the question that had been nagging at Rachel burst out unbidden.

"Why are you on my side?" The exclamation seemed to echo through the room like a gunshot, stunning all of them.

For a moment they just stared, but eventually Santana shrugged it off. "Finn's an idiot; pretty simple."

Rachel set her book aside and twisted her fingers together, staring at her crossed legs. "Please don't brush it off." Finally she looked up, brown eyes meeting brown. "Why are you on my side?"

It seemed briefly as if she would refuse to answer, but then she appeared resigned. Handing her game controller to Puck, she turned to fully face the other girl. "I wasn't screwing with you when I told you Finn is being a complete ass; he is. But I also know that Quinn…" Santana broke off as tears caught in her throat and blurred her eyes. "Quinn wouldn't want you to beat yourself up over this, and she would hate the way that Finn is treating you."

Puck nodded before speaking quietly. "She's right you know. Quinn may have been a lot of things but she wanted to be there for you that last day. She would've hated to see everything the way it is now."

Brittany nodded. "Quinn wasn't just mean… Well, not always anyway."

As always Brittany's slightly ditzy interjection brought the smiles back to their faces. With the mood light again Rachel felt as if it would have been in poor taste to bring it back down, but she couldn't just leave it where it was.

Her eyes met Santana's again and she smiled softly. "Well however it happened I'm glad to have you as a friend."

And then the moment was over. Britt went back to chatting about cats, Puck and Santana went back to kicking each others' asses via game controller, and Rachel just felt her heart lighter than it had been in weeks.


	8. Chapter 8

Note from the Author—Sooooo, this chapter is really quite different from anything I have ever written before. I'm a tad bit nervous about it, so please let me know your honest opinions.

When Brittany and Santana left that day for date night Rachel stayed to help clean up, even though Puck told her to leave it. But she knew that he would leave the debris of their afternoon with their friends until moments before his mom got off work from a double shift the next morning, and nothing could dissuade her from picking up the soda cans and snack bags to keep that from happening. She hummed to herself as she worked, actually enjoying the simple task of tidying up. It took her a minute to realize that Noah had been completely silent for a few minutes. She turned, expecting to find him lounging and staring at the TV. Instead, she saw him sitting stock still in a chair staring at her with a bemused look on his face.

Puzzled, she cocked her head to one side as she spoke gently. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he answered, sounding kind of stunned. "It just kind of hit me all of the sudden."

Now she was starting to worry. Dropping the bag she was holding she walked across the room to get a closer look at him. "Noah, you're scaring me."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to freak you out here but I just realized…. You're the only person in my life who's never given up on me."

"That's not true," she told him. "Your mom…"

"Even my ma gave up on me for a while there and why wouldn't she? I drove her car through a fucking convenience store. I'm lucky it was before I turned eighteen or it would have been even worse." There were unshed tears he didn't really realize were there shining in his eyes. "I've got her trust back now but shit, Rachel. You're the only one who never completely walked away from me. I used to slushee you, I rejected you twice after we had something going on, I got my best friend's girlfriend pregnant, I tried to get you to cheat on Jesse and talked you into getting wasted and you're still here. Quinn died; you had blood on your wedding dress and you held my hand while I broke down. You've never once completely given up on me the way so many other people have."

Seeing him like that was almost too much for her to take, and all she could manage was to choke out his name before reaching out to pull him close. He buried his head against her stomach, clinging to her as his arms came to wrap around her back. Rachel held fast to him with one hand as the other found its way to his mohawk, trailing soothingly over his hair as they clung to each other in the silence. Gradually, his arms loosened a bit as he calmed down, and soon they held each other just because they could, not because they so desperately needed it.

Neither could quite say when the mood changed, as it seemed to happen in a split second. Noah turned his head away from her body and his mouth brushed over the thin fabric of her shirt, causing her breath to catch in her throat. Then he was looking up at her with those hazel eyes of his darkened to a deep green that she had last seen when they had been rolling over her bed together what seemed like an eternity ago.

Rachel felt as if her heart would pound out of her chest as those forest green eyes watched her in the silence, and then she bent to kiss him for the first time in a year. There was familiarity there as his lips glided over hers, an almost audible click as they remembered how well they worked together. As quickly as it had begun the kiss slid from sweet to charged. Their hands were everywhere, seeking out the warmth of skin and fisting in whatever fabric gave them purchase. Noah broke the kiss to raise to his feet, his hands dragging her shirt up a bit to brush at her sides before coming to frame her face. For a moment their eyes met, and then his mouth was on hers again before he nipped her bottom lip gently then moved to press kisses to her jaw, her neck, wherever he could.

Her head fell back on a throaty moan and then she was tugging at the hem of his shirt. "Off, off right now."

Stunned, he pulled back, trying to bring himself back to earth when he realized the implication of her demand. "Rachel. Babe, just wait a second." His hands pulled hers gently from his shirt as he looked her straight in the eyes. "I'm not going to lie and say I don't want this, but I need you to be sure that this is what you want. It hasn't been that long and I am so not going to take advantage of…."

She cut him off with a firm kiss, and then it was her turn to stroke a hand over his cheek. "Noah, we've known each other for what feels like forever, we've been together, we've been with other people; we've been through birth and death and everything in between. Nothing tastes like pink," she told him with a wry smile. "I'm in full possession of all of my faculties, and all I want is you, and this. So off."

Impatient hands were pulling at his shirt again, and he raised his arms to let her strip it off. She was short enough that he had to help her and by the time the offending garment hit the floor they were both laughing. Then the laughter caught hard in his throat and was replaced by a gasp as her hands cruised over his chest, giving his nipple ring a playful little tug. "Jesus," he choked out. Suddenly it felt as if he would actually die if he couldn't feel more of her skin against his soon, and he ripped her shirt open with one pull, sending buttons scattering around them.

Rachel gave a little squeak of protest when she heard her buttons hit the floor, but then his arms were around her again as he lifted her off her feet. The effortless show of strength was so ridiculously sexy that she actually lost her breath; but she managed to recover and wrap her legs around his waist as he backed her into the rail. "Now Noah," she told him breathlessly.

But Puck just pulled back from her, gazing into her eyes as one thumb brushed over her kiss swollen bottom lip. "This isn't a one-time deal for me, and I'm not taking you up against the stairwell the first time we're together, babe."

Momentarily stunned speechless, she just nodded. His mother was at work all night and his little sister was off on some camping trip, so she pressed a sweet kiss to his lips and pulled back to rest her forehead against his. "Take me to bed."


End file.
